Till the end of the Line
by bluesraine
Summary: Jane and Maura's story, read from diaries written by Maura. It's the story of their life, their love, about all the bumps and bruises life had held for them, and all the love in their life. Until the very End.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Jane and Maura's story, read from a diary written by Maura. It's the story of their life, their love, about all the bumps and bruises life had held for them, and all the love in their life. Until the very End.

Disclaimer - Yes, Rizolli and Isles still belong to TNT and Tess Gerritsen, but Maura is on my Eastern wishlist, so ...

Comments are love :)

Chapter 1 of 8

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><p><strong>Till the end of the Line.<strong>

_Movie night_

At every end, somebody else has to care for things. There are funerals to organize, houses to sell, and grieving that has to be done. When the redhead opened the door, dust danced in the sunlight. She hesitated for a moment, hesitated to enter the place that she called home. She remembered the smell, remembered laughter, and so much love. She took a deep breathe and stepped inside. She opened a few windows, to let the soft summer breeze refresh the air.

On her way upstairs, she passed a wall with pictures, walked along doors she didn't open until she reached her target. The room was stuffed with bookshelves; sun fell through the big window. She let her hand run along the leather of the old, much used, and adored couch. She looked around, until she spotted what she was looking for. She stretched out to reach the box.

"Marlin", she heard a shout, and almost knocked a bunch of books from the shelf.

"I'm up here", Marlin gave back.

A pair of feet was running up the stairs, and it sounded like it always did. It made Marlin smile, this old, familiar sound, and her smile grew even wider when her twin sister showing up in the door. "Hi, Gracie."

Grace flashed her a smile and hugged her sister. "Hey there. I'm sorry I'm late. I couldn't get off work. Some case came in late." She stroked her black hair behind her ears. "But I brought food."

"Good. I already found Mom's diaries."

Grace looked down on the box. "Okay. Good job, I guess. I… this is a bit weird."

"I know", Marlin admitted. "This is their life; their whole life, somehow."

"Are you sure we should read that?"

"She always told us a bit, but… I need more, Gracie. I need to know all. I think we agreed."

"Yes, we did." The sister plopped down on the couch, stretched into the sunlight and purred like a cat when the warm light touched her bare legs.

Marlin sat at the other end of the couch, placed the books in the middle. She flipped through them, to find the first. Her hand shook a bit when she opened it and saw her mother's clean, clear but feminine handwriting.

"_Dear Jane, _

_T__he day you shot yourself to shoot a murderer… I remember when I ran out of the building, and I saw you falling to the ground. I couldn't reach you until your body hit the cold street. I wanted to hold you in my arms, though I knew I needed to care for your wounds first. You hurt yourself to kill the man that almost killed us, this dangerous person. I always feared that you would give your life for one of us, and you almost did. _

_You couldn't remember how we rushed you to a hospital, how they operated on you hours to save your life. You made it; you have always been a fighter. But you were hurt, and it took a long time to heal – mainly because you never listened and didn't take things slow. Well, what did I expect? You never listened. _

_We spend so much time to get you back on track. Somehow, we didn't part those days, did we? I couldn't leave you, I was scared something could happen to you again, and you just liked me being around. _

_That night, months after your injury, we had a beer together. It was your first beer after all that time. The first day off pain killers and we had to celebrate that with a beer. A wine would have been the better choice, but it was your occasion, so I even ordered the Pizza you wished for. I never understood your love for bitter beer and oily food. _

_We sat on your porch, saw the sun go down, ate and talked about the whole wide world. That's one thing I still love the most – how we can get lost in conversations. When it got cooler, we went inside and you chose a movie. I don't remember which, but I remember us laughing. _

_And when you looked at me, a wide smile on your pretty face, and that amazing sparkle in your beautiful eyes, my heart beat faster, as it always did, for you. I don't know what I was thinking. Well, Jane, sometimes even I don't think. I bend over and pressed my lips on yours. I felt you freezing, I think you even stopped breathing for a second, and I pulled back. You stared at me in disbelieve. It scared me, and I backed off, jumped of that couch and wanted to leave the house, but before I could leave the door you grabbed my arm._

_You turned me around and looked at me, scanning every inch of my face, without saying a word for a long while. I didn't move. And then, I felt your thumb drawing circles on my arm. I don't know if you realized that. I could tell a million thoughts were running through your head, your breath was sharp, your whole body tensing. Finally, you looked at my arm. Slowly, so slowly, your hand released its strong grip and softly stroke over my skin. _

"_Jane", I whispered, and your eyes found mine again. _

_And you bend forward, laughing, a short, unsure sound covered by our lips touching again. A warm fire spread over my stomach, a chemical reaction of my brain. Your hand pulled me closer, your body needed to touch mine. We melt together, arms wrapped around each other, lips never leaving the others, tongues dancing. A little moan must have escaped my mouth. _

_You pulled back, nearly let me stumble under the loss of contact. You made physical distance, but I don't think your mind ever was shutting me out as much as it did this very second. I could tell you were scared. This sudden cold between us made me fear I did something stupid. Did kissing you destroy our friendship? Did I easily risk our well established work relationship? I could have slapped myself. Never cross the line, Maura. Do not mix love and work, how could I forget what my parents told me so many times before._

_You seemed to lose all your colour, your sparkle was gone. I couldn't stand to look at you any more, couldn't stand you could possibly seeing the tears forming in my eyes. I grabbed my purse, and this time you didn't hold me back. _

_I drove home, ran into my apartment, and breathe again when I leaned at the door from the inside. I felt my heart cramping, so did my stomach, and the tears started to fall. What did I do? What did you do? You kissed me back, and then nearly kicked me out. I sat there, on the floor of my hallway, maybe for an hour or two, lost in thoughts. _

_Bass came over, hungry. I carried him to the kitchen, cut veggies and watched him chewing them. I was cold and went for a hot shower. When the water was running over my back, I could feel your lips on mine, again. Jane, you kissed me back. I knew I had feelings for you for a while now, and even when I always thought how you must be thinking about… what, gay? Women loving women? I never expected you to react like this. It made me laugh, there, under the water. _

_What didn't I expect? You, kissing me back? Or you, shutting me out after it?_

_Sleep wouldn't come__ this night, and I feared the morning._

_I brought coffee as usual, but you weren't at your desk. The guys mumbled something about you working out, and they didn't sound like they wouldn't want to get near you anytime soon, so I assumed you were loaded with anger. I didn't check on you, I had a lot work to do, and went to the morgue."_

"I can imagine Ma being surprised and backing off like that", Grace commented. "It must have caught her in surprise."

Marlin looked at her sister. "Do you think she never realized what was going on between them? Mom always said they were close, hang out a lot, slept over… I don't think she was as emotional as Mom, but even Ma could read people…"

"Maybe she was confused. I don't know. I think I can understand how your best friend and co-worker kissing you – kinda out of the blue – can catch you in surprise, whether you may know somewhere in the back of your head there are more things going on then a so-called normal friendship." Grace shrugged her shoulders. "If you don't continue, we won't know what happened next."

"You were the one interrupting."

"Oh, don't give me that, Marlin. Read."

Marlin flipped the page and continued.

"_I didn't see you that__ day or the next. We haven't had a special case, so I didn't have to get upstairs and could work on the other bodies. Being in my lab always let me be much more comfortable than being upstairs. I like the silences, and the story a body can tell about a life. _

_We ran into each other the third night when I was about to go home. It was late, almost midnight; I had forgotten about time while working, and was surprised to meet you at the door. You held it open and allowed me to leave first. We walked down the stairs, each turning to our cars. I was trying to unlock my car – key battery must have been empty, again, proving you right with "those damn expensive cars should at least come with an extra set of batteries if the damn thing is empty every month…" You approached, and cleared your throat. I saw you looking at the ground while you offered me a ride home. _

_We kept quiet in the car. It made me think we might be silent for the rest of our lives – which, Jane, is hilarious. You could never be quiet for so long, technically no human being could exist without any interaction. It's how we work. Interacting, bonding, and pairing; recreating our race. _

_You parked in front of my building, and I thanked you. At least I can be polite. I went upstairs, to be honest, I was sad, but then the doorbell rang. I opened, and a short moment later found you at my front door._

"_You should always check, I could have been a murderer."_

"_Do you hate me so much already you want to end my life?"_

"_No", you snapped._

"_See", I said, "then I think I am safe."_

_I let you in, and that awkward filled the room. It took you a while to look up. I don't know if you thought about what to say, if you had planned this. "Listen, Maura", you said, "I am sorry for not showing up downstairs in the morgue. You know I feel uncomfortable around the dead." I was about to interrupt you. You were uncomfortable around me as well, weren't you? But you continued talking. "I… the other night, when we… kissed… I don't know what happened. Well, I know – we kissed. I didn't handle the situation very well. We work together, and this is conflicting with the work situation, which it shouldn't. You are the best partner I could ever have there." And my heart almost broke. "But… I… I… we… I…", you murmured. "I liked kissing you", you finally managed to say, almost knocking me off my feet right away._

_You liked kissing me. I wanted to hug you. "You liked it?"_

_It made you look up. "Didn't you feel it? The… sparks between us? I never felt like that with anybody else. Its like you are made for me."_

"_That's just a chemical reaction of our human needs."_

_Then, you raised your eyebrow. I love when you do that. "So you kissed me for a chemical reaction, just to proof some medical statement, and it wasn't because you maybe like me and like kissing me?"_

"_How could I've possibly known I would like kissing you before kissing you? I can't tell the future."_

"_Mau…"_

_It was my turn to admit. Suddenly, my tongue was twisted, words didn't want to leave my mouth and let it feel dry. I swallowed, twice. I enjoyed kissing you. More than that. I saw you on that couch, heard your laugh, felt it giving me Goosebumps again, and I just had to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you for a while, wondered how you taste, and wondered if we would click. The consequences of kissing a partner never crossed my mind, oh my. I guess… how would you say? I guess; I had a thing for you, Jane Rizzoli."_


	2. Chapter 2

_Carnival Ride_

Marlin closed the diary to look at her sister, only to find her touched by the story. Even though Grace became a tough cop like Jane used to be, she had the same soft spots Jane had. Family was the most important thing, and Grace loved her family, loved her twin sister more than anybody else even though they were not identical twins. The two of them could not be more different, but they were each other's lives, always and forever. She smiled about that thought.

Her sister put her legs on the couch and stretched them out. "You need to read more; I think this is going to be interesting."

"Mom wrote well."

"Indeed she did. I didn't know she can write stories like that, she usually seemed more… rational than a love story."

"It's the love of her life she is writing about, Gracie", Marlin said softly. She cleared her throat and flipped through a few pages about stuff from Maura's work and daily life. "Okay, here we should continue."

"_Dear Jane,_

_A__fter admitting we felt something, it was difficult to figure out what to do next. We didn't want to jeopardize our work situation. We didn't know how to… and what to expect or do. There were those two kisses, that somehow turned our world upside down, but neither of us took another step. _

_And so, we continued with our usual lives or at least we tried to. I got coffee for the team every morning, sat at the edge of a desk, chatted with you and disappeared to the morgue. We worked cases together; we met with the guys after work. Some day, it somehow became somewhat normal again. _

_Until that night... We wanted to meet with the whole gang to go to the movies, some cop movie you all wanted to see. You had an extra ticket and one of you talked me into joining. You promised popcorn and coke, and laughed about yourself when you remember to whom you were offering this. It wasn't funny at all, Jane; I do know how to have fun. I'm not the spoiled woman you may think I am. _

_It took me a while to figure out what to wear, though. I tried not to be overdressed; you just would have given me that look. You know, when you roll your eyes… I decided for a pair of Levis and a black wide tank top with matching ballerinas. I didn't use much makeup either."_

"She must have looked absolutely stunning, I always loved when she looked natural", Marlin interrupted herself, lost in the memory for a moment.

Then, she continued.

"_I waited outside the movie theatre, it was a soft summer night, not dark__ yet, couples wandering around holding hands. You showed up late – as usual, how could I have been surprised? We said hello and decided to wait for the guys, but they didn't show. We were standing there with our six movie tickets, just the two of us. _

_Well, we went in anyway, and you bought this huge tub of sweet popcorn, a big Coke for you and an apple juice for me. I didn't even want to think about the calories. We carried it to our seats, and placed it in the middle. You forced me to switch the cell phone off, you, who wouldn't survive without hers, have movie rules. You are a weird twisted person, Jane. _

_That movie didn't__ really catch my interest, to be honest, but you soaked up every minute like a sponge. I love when you get lost in a fictional story. So I stole hidden glances to your face, careful not to get caught while watching you. _

_When the movie ended, the silence became a bit uncomfortable. "Uhm", you started, "maybe… there is this carnival in the park. If you don't have other plans, you maybe want to go?" Did you just… ask me out?_

"_I don't have any other plans. I'd love to go." I couldn't wait. I almost jumped in excitement. We took your car downtown to the park. While the coloured lights filled the sky, the music and laughter filled the air. We wandered around, between all those strangers, and didn't talk much but pointed out to this and that. We stopped, watched, continued. I was relaxed and could tell you were as well. _

_We saw a flying swing carousel and you talked me into riding on it. I haven't done that in a very long time. You bought the tickets, and we chose two seats next to each other. Slowly, the carousel rose swinging us in circles. We flew, music underlining your laughter. You reached out for my hand, and laced our fingers. When I held my free arm out like you did, I felt so free, so happy – so connected with you. And I had to laugh along, laugh into the night, with you, wishing that ride would never end._

_Too soon our feet touched the ground again and you helped me out. We continued our walk through the area. Next to a band, it was full of people, and while you easily made your way through the crowd I almost lost you. I quickly reached out to take your hand. You looked back, checking on me, but then smiled. You didn't let go. _

_You didn't let go of my __hand until we got back into the car, very late that night. The air got cool, but we didn't care. We had so much fun there; ate sweet candy apples, and of course, you had to loose money on betting on a toy horse race. I told you not to, but you lectured me that this is fun. _

_You took me home – but when we were almost there you stopped the car next to the sidewalk. I was surprised when you turned off the engine. "I don't want you to leave already", you explained. "But I don't know how to make this night last longer. I would offer you a wine, or a beer, at my place, but that would probably sound foolish, and I don't want to ruin this."_

"_I would like to share a wine – or beer – with you. And your porch is much nicer than my balcony. But you need to take me home." There, your smile faded, and __because I didn't plan to make you sad, it made me smile. "I haven't fed Bass yet, he must be hungry. After that, we can go to your place."_

_You stared in disbelieve, but were smart enough not to check back and drove home. We fed the tortoise. When he was busy with the fruit we gave him… he liked the strawberries the most… I went to my room to pack fresh clothes into my bag. I figured as we would drink something chances of me crashing on your couch would be high. _

_I can't remember the time we finally reached your place. You got yourself some beer, and found wine for me. We sat on the steps of your porch, surrounded by the sound of insect wings and warm summer air. The stars were shining bright, the moon almost full. _

"_What was the movie about?"__ you asked._

_Uh. Guess you caught me. I guessed. "A cop?" _

_You laughed so hard you most spilled your beer. Manners, Jane. You made me laugh as well, again. Yes, I didn't pay attention to that movie. But then, you became silent, looking at me. I got unsure what was going on in your head and started babbling. I didn't want us to be silent and grew apart again. I think I was talking about the carnival._

_Then, you bend over. Your lips touched mine, so softly it barely happened. When you pulled back to look at me, I couldn't think. I only knew I wanted more. So much more; all of you. I must have looked sheepish, my mouth hanging open, my eyes wide. It made you smile, those slow, soft smile, which grew from your lips to your eyes or the other way around, I never found out, but it always put that soft shimmer on your face. _

_And I knew it this second. Love. It wasn't just a chemical reaction. Well, at least not only that. _

_You reached out, your finger draw along my jaw line; stroke a strand of hair behind my ear to remain at my cheek, to be followed by another kiss, soft, gentle. Lips on lips, tasting, rubbing, our bodies leaning towards each other. Goosebumps, again, butterflies in my stomach. All those romantic descriptions of the books my mother used to read matched that moment. _

_Even the rain that came out of nowhere, falling heavily on the ground, getting us soaked within seconds couldn't ruin the moment. It left us giggling. I wanted to get up, run in, but you just held my face with both hands to continue what we were doing. My hair was dripping, rain ran over my arms, my face, my lips, until I could even taste it on your tongue – or was it on mine? You got me, right then and there. I slung my arms around your neck to keep you close. _

_After a while, we broke that kiss, that mind blowing kiss in the rain. You pulled me up and took me in."_

"Yea, go Ma, get her upstairs on the first date", Grace cheered.

Marlin closed the book. "I'm not reading that."

"You know it ends with sex, right?"

"Gracie, they are our moms!"

"Okay, honestly this is amazing."

"Don't you think we are overstepping the borders of privacy?"

"She wrote it down, she may have guessed we would find it one day, and we knew where the diaries were the whole time."

"She might not have thought about having kids back then. Honestly, Grace, this is…" She looked at her sister, who smirked back at her. "… a great love story. I guess we can continue, but don't give me a 'well done Mom' while I'm reading it, alright? And let's get some of your drinks first. I need alcohol for this."

"Okay, let's order some pizza too. And I will read the dirty part."

The sisters got up, went down the hall, passing the rooms of their childhood once again. Grace took the phone out of her bag, while Marlin went to the kitchen. She switched the light on, the sun was about to go down. She opened the cabinet to find plates, took knives and spoons. She washed a glass for her wine and assumed Grace – very Jane-like – would have a beer.

She was always amazed how different they were, yet connected through their mothers love forever. She knew Grace would give her life for her sister, and so would she. Just as their mothers would have done back then.

"Pizza will be delivered in 10", Grace explained, and added an "I know the guy" smile. She put Marlin's favourite red wine on the table along with a six pack of beer. She reached out for the knife and popped the bottle open with its end, ignoring her sisters raised eyebrow.

They stood in the kitchen for a while, silent. The Pizza guy interrupted their thoughts. Grace took the boxes, paid him and carried all back into the kitchen. They put the pizzas on the plates, got their drinks, and carried it back upstairs.

When they sat down, at opposite ends of the couch again, Grace reached out to turn the reading lamp on. A light breeze let them smell the aroma of their food as well as the warm summer night. "Enjoy", Marlin said while Grace already had her mouth full with delicious pizza.


	3. Chapter 3

There is a R version of this chapter, an extended version, posted as a seperate single piece, just because I felt like writing a missing piece, and it didnt flow with the story... You may find it under my Stories "Missing Piece" :)

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><p><em>Summer night<em>

Marlin finished her last piece of Pizza a while after her sister, who was wandering through the room, pulling a book of the shelves from time to time. When she put her plate down, the brunette turned around. "Finally, Marlin, I never understood how you could eat so slowly."

"I try to enjoy what I'm eating; I'm not rushing through it as you do."

Grace gave her a grin and put back the book she was holding. She hopped on the couch once again, and much more careful took her mother's diary. She run her finger along the paper's side, as if she could feel Maura still holding it. For a moment, she hesitated. When she looked up, she found her twin watching her. It thrilled her once again how much Marlin looked like their Mom – how much she was like her. It wasn't only the hair, but also their hands were the same, the smile and their eyes. Beside that, Marlins gestures and expressions were the exact copy. It made Marlin smile, once again.

With that, Grace opened the diary.

"_After a while, we broke that kiss; that mind blowing kiss in the rain. You pulled me up and took me with you."_

_You lead me upstairs. I was concerned we may water your whole house, but you told not to worry and guided me to the bathroom. You turned around, giggling about my soaked clothes and hair. You didn't look much better yourself. Then, you reached out and pulled my shirt off. It seemed to be the most natural gesture, the most intimate thing you could have done. While you tried to pull your wet shirt up I helped you as well. _

_We didn't hesitate a second, peel us off our jeans and underwear. You stepped into the shower and turned the hot water on. The room was filled with steam quickly. Your head popped back out. "You coming?"_

_Am I coming? To take a shower together? We were insane, oh god, and so into each other. I was in there before you could ask again, and dragged you under the hot water. I put my head into my neck, let the hair fall down my back. You held your head under the showerhead, and I reached out for your waist to hold you close so we could share the water. _

_You took the shower gel; put some on your hands, but instead of rubbing it over yourself, you reached out for me, hesitated, and giving me a questioning look. I could only wait for your touch. Then, after a second that seemed to last forever, your fingertips touched my shoulder, your hands followed, run wide circles over my back. I had to close my eyes in passion, only for a moment. I took the shower gel myself to copy your movements on your own body. _

_We slowly stroke over each others backs, down the spine, over the arms, the shoulders, enjoying the sensation of water and skin. Your hand found my waist, and you kissed me when you pulled me closer. Our bodies met in the perfect places." _

Grace looked up to find her sisters cheeks covered in a deep reddish shade. She took another sip of her beer; even she might need some courage to continue.

"_Sometimes later, the water got cold and let break us apart. You wrapped me into a big towel, dried our hairs off a bit and hung up the clothes. _

_We got us fresh drinks and made it up to your room. It was weird, sitting on your bed together like this, almost naked, right after making out in your bath. Weird might be the wrong word… unfamiliar, maybe. I didn't feel weird. It felt right. You felt right to me. I leaned back next to you. _

"_Do you want to watch TV?"_

"_I don't really care; if you want to go ahead."_

_You didn't reach out for the remote but drank instead. "I… will ask you something now and you won't jump off this bed but let me ask and answer, okay?"_

"_Okay." I looked at you, curious what's on your mind._

"_I need to know if you are sure about this. I don't sleep around or anything, and it's not about the sex but I need to know if you are sure about being with me." I could hear the fear in your voice, as well as a wish._

"_I am", I whispered, "I couldn't be surer. I made the first move, remember?"_

"_Yea, and I made you run. I don't even need my Italian dad for that."_

"_You got me back, but this time you won't make me run."_

"_No", you said, "I won't. I wouldn't want you to leave ever again."_

_And with that, you kissed me once again. I wanted to pull you closer, wrap my arm around you but still held my wine. I backed off, took another sip and put the glass on the nightstand. You did the same, and we met in the middle once again. _

_You made love to me that night. _

_Our bodies relaxed together, the sweet afterward let us hold each other, snuggle together. Our skin was covered with sweat, sticking to each other; our hands draw slow circles, lazy movements. We whispered into the dark, shared soft kisses. _

_I saw the moon from where I laid. That day, today, changed us forever. Not only you were my first, and only, but I got you – as you got me. I listened to the sound of your breathing, and could tell you were still awake. "What are you thinking?" I whispered._

"_I'm thinking how beautiful you are." You turned your head to me, and I could tell about the smirk on your face from the sound of your voice. "And that you are mine."_

"_Is it like that, am I yours?"_

"_Very much, yes. I don't fool around, and I don't play. I would never jeopardize you or us in any way."_

"_I know, Jane, don't worry. I know you wouldn't. I don't know where this will take us. I have not planned on this, nor thought about it too much. I'm over the moon it happened. Remind me to thank the guys for not showing up. But this is new, to you, and to me. Let's take things slow, step by step. If you want to fly under the radar, we will. I think that may be a good idea for the beginning, till we are surer about us, till we bond as a couple…"_

_Jane, you giggled into my words, again. I sometimes don't know if you are amused or making fun of me. You told me that night that you are fine with keeping us a secret until we figured all the details, more or less. _

_At some point, everything was said and talked through. We pulled up the blanket and held each other close again. I liked that, loved when you snuggled into me, being my entire soft lover at night. Though, I have to admit, the kick ass cop is sexy as well. Very, to be honest. _

_In the morning, I felt your finger running over the back of my nose, teasing me to wake up. I had to crinkle my nose and earned a soft kiss. You tasted sleepy. We had to go to work though I wished we could stay in your bed forever. It was Saturday, after all. And at least I had some work to do. You would work through this week's paperwork. _

_When I was in the morgue, my thoughts kept wandering back to you, to that night. To your soft skin; to your warm breath on my body. I was distracted. I didn't even hear my assistant talking to me. He had to call my name twice and looked really annoyed. _

_You came by later, silently snuck in to observe me. When I looked up and saw you leaning against the glass door, you smiled, and it made me think that this "not telling" won't work long. You had this glow, like your aura would be shimmering when it came close to mine. Sure, another love novel related saying, I admit, but it matched it pretty well. I don't believe in those things. You smiled when you saw me because you have feelings. And I felt myself smiling in reply, weird human nature; this would get us in trouble sooner or later. _

"_How is your day going?"__ you checked and moved away from the door. You came closer, looking onto the body on the table. I got us a Coke, which you refused to take as it was from the dead human body parts fridge… oh Jane. _

"_Work is going okayish."_

_That moment, the assistant came in again. Notice to myself – make sure the youngsters get more work to do and don't distract me all the time. "You want to…" You looked around, didn't want him to listen but knew he could hear every word. "I will go for some Chinese food later today, you want to come?"_

_I took a sip of my drink, trying not to spill the fluids while widely grinning. I managed to nod. That guy didn't leave, still. You leaned over, a bit closer. I felt my heart jumping in excitement. You have some influence on me here. "This", you whispered and grabbed the little note pad from the chest pocket of my lab coat, scribbled something, put it back. You gave me another smile, secretly thrown over your shoulder when you looked back once again, and left. I watched you walking out, knowing how well your jeans fit you in just the right places. When you were out of my watch, I took the note pad. "It's a date" you had written. _

_Another date – another night. You picked me up at my place, and were all dressed up. It must have been a new dress, maybe even specially bought for this occasion. You were the perfect date, holding doors open, tasting the wine, made sure I had a good time – which was pretty easy. We clicked, we always did, and we know each other so well. You know how I am. _

_You took me home later, brought me to my door. Kissed my cheek; not willing to out me in front of any neighbours who might be spying on us. I didn't want to let you go yet and invited you for another drink. As soon as the door closed behind us you pulled me into your arms for a mind blowing kiss. We had that drink much later that night." _

Grace closed the book. "They were so in love", she whispered, deeply touched by her mother's words.

Marlin reached out to touch her sister's knee for a moment. "Yes, they were, they always were. And that smile she is talking about? Ma always had that, whenever she looked at Mom."

"It was the right decision to come here to read that, sis."

"I know; I feel the same. We are doing the right thing. We will keep those forever, and read them from time to time, and one day, maybe, tell their story to our own kids."

Grace giggled. "You will explode, tomato face, when it comes to the dirty parts. You should have seen your cheeks, almost as red as your hair."

"Don't give me that… they are our mothers after all. I don't want to know the details on your sex life either but you keep spoiling me with them."

"You don't enjoy talking to me?"

"Well, sure I do, but maybe you can spare the details, you know?"

"But that's the fun part."

"Mocking me? It's always been to you."

Grace giggled, but then softly smiled. "I love you, you know. You are my other half. You are the only one that forever completed me." Without noticing, Grace touched the bracelet she was wearing for years, a deep blue stone in form of a half moon, the exact same that bejewelled her sisters neck.

"I know." Marlin smiled and stretched out.


	4. Chapter 4

_Brave new World_

She took the book from Grace's lap and flipped another few pages forward to continue.

"_Dear Janie._

_It didn't take us very long to become public. You enjoyed sneaking around quiet a lot, but it made things more difficult than we expected. And so, one afternoon, we went to your parents, met with your brother there for a family barbeque. When the food was on the table, you stood up, your beer in your hand. "I have an announcement to make", you said to get everybody's attention. With a quick look to me, you started smiling again. "Maura and I __are together."_

_It made me smile. I expected you to have more problems with that – not because of the things you felt for me, but because of things others would probably think. Maybe I did judge you on this, I'm sorry. You surprised me, and your family surprised both of us._

"_We know", your Ma said. _

"_How do you know?"_

"_I am your mother, Jane. And I just had to look at you two. I am not sure when it happened, there were sparks flying around you for a long time, but I was very aware something was going on."_

"_And you never said a thing?" you almost pouted, childish. _

"_We thought", your Dad explained, "you would tell us when you are ready. Congratulations, Jane, Maura." Your Dad shook my hand, your mother hugged me. _

_I always felt your family was mine as well, the one I never really had. They are so much more of a family than my adopted parents were. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I know they tried. _

_Going public was easier than expected after all. Everybody at work accepted it right away. The guys joked on you for a while, though. _

_Life with you was like flying. We got lost into each other, and it was a bit like we were watching us from the outside sometimes – seeing us walking together, my arm linked through yours, sometimes holding hands, giggling and laughing, teasing and kissing, making love – I couldn't believe this was happening sometimes. You fulfilled me. You made my life so much more fun, and oh, so much more complicated. _

_You are the most complicated person I ever met, my Jane. Life wasn't always sunny and easy, let's be honest. There were a lot of bumps along the way. We are both stubborn people. You are very, very stubborn, trying to get your way. It was hard being with you sometimes, but I guess you would say the same about me. I can be as difficult as you are._

_Our first big fight, how could I forget? We discussed about your job. I've always been scared when I heard about shootings. You love your duty, and you don't hesitate to pull your gun. I always feared something could happen to you, and told you to double check your safety vest every morning, and you told me you don't have to do that every morning. And somehow, it got that big we started fighting for a day or two, and ended up not talking to each other. A week, maybe 8 or 9 days, and it almost killed me. I missed you terribly, and being silent at work wasn't my thing either._

_One night, I had enough. I grabbed my stuff and drove over to your place. When I rang the doorbell, nobody opened. I sat down, planned on waiting for you when my phone rang. I saw your number on the display. "Jane, where are you?"_

"_Where are you? I wanted to see you; I want to talk to you. I'm at your place."_

_It made me laugh. "I'm at yours."_

"_Okay, don't you dare to move; I'll be there in a bit."_

_You hung up before I could tell you to drive careful. You were here 15 minutes later, parked the car and jumped out just to run over to me, pulled me in your arms and hugged me like the world would break down any minute. We stood there, under the moonlight, clinching to each others body. I missed you this week. I knew I wouldn't loose you, but I missed you so much. _

"_I'm sorry", I said. "You know well enough what you are doing. I am just…"_

"_Concerned, I know. I didn't deal with that very well. I will try to do better. I always had cops as partners, and I took for granted you know my job well enough, but ignored that love does weird things with us." You pulled back. "You love me, and are concerned. And I love you, and will take care. If you promise to take care not to get hurt by any of your zombies."_

"_My… oh Jane, the Zombie myth? You can not believe in that, you are more…" You silenced me with a kiss, forceful, leaving me to want more. I always wanted more, more of you, all the time. _

_After making love, you held me close. I felt your lips on my closed eyelid. "Mau, I promise to take care, to be as careful as possible. But you know my job. It can be dangerous. I need you not to flip out every time."_

"_Okay", I gave back, knowing I would always fear for you. _

"_You did get that earlier I told you I love you?"_

"_Yes."_

"_So?"_

_I smirked. "I know you love me."_

"_Like, love, love, Maura."_

_When I didn't reply you pinched me. Janie – always needed to rush things, not being able to stand me mocking you. Well, maybe no good mocking here. "I love you too." I giggled. "I love you so much."_

"_Good." You kissed me, your arm safely around my waist. _

_That's how we said we love each other for the very first time. We have been together a few months, and we already knew what we felt, because somehow, we felt that for such a long time. We laid there, smiling and looking at each other. It wasn't because of the fight, I think. It was just a good situation. You chose a good moment. _

_After that, I tried not to lecture you on your job. It was hardest part, being concerned. I was always scared. What if something would happen? My world would stop, I think. You always said dying in the field – on the street, I guess – is something you don't fear. You always feared diseases more. Because you didn't know most of them. I don't know. I'm not sure. I was always scared_ _somebody would shoot you. I can't control that. I could fight that. It leaves me helpless. There is nothing I can do. I have to trust you, that you are trying to be careful, and that no sick person shoots you. _

_We spent most nights together. In your place; in my place. We went to sports, did yoga, and went out sometimes. We had a very good time, full of laughter. I was relaxed, my life fulfilled with my job and us. It was fun. It gave me a warm feeling. _

_We talked about moving together. We didn't rush that. We gave the relationship time to grow, and we needed a lot of time. _

_We found a balance. _

_One day, we knew it was time. My place was awesome, I loved the apartment. I loved the style. But I liked your place as well. That's where it got difficult again. Your place was so much you, and mine was so much me. We talked about it, and decided to find a new place. We looked around, wanted to stay not too far from work, but in a nice area. We saw a bunch of places until we found the right. _

_We bought our house, and getting the place together was hard work. You taught me a lot about painting, wallpapers, and wooden floors. I broke more fingernails than I could count, had more bruises than ever. We worked on the weekends, all windows open wide, loud rock music entertaining us. Your family helped, and sometimes friends helped as well. In the end, our place was cute and cosy. The living room and kitchen were modern; the other rooms were styled differently. Upstairs, we had a small library. It is my favourite room."_

Marlin shut the book. "I love the library the most, too." She looked around. This room was full of their mother's books. That's where they spent almost every evening. Maura or Jane used to read them stories when they snuggled together on the couch.

"They kept all the stories they ever bought. I loved that. Most parents threw the stuff away at some point, but these shelves still contain stories we used to hear as kids."

"This house is so much them."

"It is. I didn't know they did that on their own. I can't picture Mom painting walls."

Marlin laughed. "I know; me neither."

"I'm getting the chocolate, do you need something?"

"What else did you bring?"

"Some strawberries."

"I would like to have some of those, please."

Grace went downstairs. Marlin looked around, and then she got up as well and opened a door. It was her old room. Her old bed in the middle, trophies and pictures pinned to the walls. She found a pair of pink ballerina slippers in the storage. The connection door to Graces room was open, as it always had been. The room was the exact same, beside the pictures and trophies were different. While Marlin attended math tests or science fairs, her sister was playing baseball.

An old toy on her bed got her attention. She reached out to hold the teddy bear for a moment. It was much loved and almost lost all fur. When she thought back, this bear had been with her, forever. She stroke over the used toy and put it back.

"I still have mine, too." Grace stood in the door. "I took it home with me a while ago, but I take very good care of it."

"It looks like nothing has changed since we moved out."

"It didn't. Look, I want to show you something." Grace took Marlins hand and guided her to her mothers' bedroom. Jane's uniform was hanging in the closet, next to Maura's clothes. Jewellery and perfume was on the small table, pictures of the twins hang on the mirror all around.

Marlin ran her finger along the scratches in the wood. So many memories.

Grace pulled a box of the storage. "Here, I found it." She went back to the library. With the box on her lap, she put a blanket over her legs.

Marlin followed. "What's in there? The pictures?"

"Yes, all the pictures. I found them the other day."

"Let me see."

"No, wait. I want to read first."


	5. Chapter 5

_The Babies_

Marlin took the next book. She flipped through pages about the house, until she found Maura writing about them.

"_Dear Jane,_

_I always knew you wanted kids. You wanted to start a family on your own. I never thought about that, and as being with you, it wasn't an option for me. It's impossible biologically to get a baby without help. But one day, you brought it up, and we talked it through. _

_Do I want a baby? How could I not want a mini-you?_

_We went to see a doctor, an in vitro fertilization specialist. They took tests on you. We agreed you would get the baby. We agreed on a donor, too. They started the treatment, fertilized your egg cells, but you didn't get pregnant."_

"She is talking about the procedure, I will leave that out. Its medical talk; would sound like Chinese to you..."

Grace rolled her eyes, yet knowing how her sister meant her words.

"_Then, the doc told us that it could be a very long procedure__, and that we don't have a guarantee. He said I could try as well; maybe I would have a quicker success. We discussed that at home. It didn't really matter to you who carried the baby, but you wanted me to start working extra careful in the lab, always with a mask and gloves. It made sense, right? _

_And so, I started the treatment. We still had 2 fertilized egg cells left from your treatment, and also a few of mine. As never all eggs will start growing, we started with a mix of yours and mine, four in all._

_A short time later, we got the test results. You were on the phone, and when you turned around you were bouncing through the living room wrapping your arms around me. We were pregnant. "Touchdown", you kept singing. And your joy made me cheer and jump as well. We were pregnant. God, Jane, we would have a baby._

_We kept it from everybody. We needed to make sure everything would be alright with the baby. There was morning sickness. You always made me tea and a cookie, sat down with me till it faded. And once I felt better, I couldn't help but smile. You were the sweetest, most caring woman I could have met, and you would be a great mother._

_When we had our second ultrasound, you came along, for sure. We lay there, when the assistant started the ultrasound. And you held my hand when she looked at me, and you, and the screen. _

"_Is something wrong?" you asked, your voice shaking._

"_Do you see that dark spot?"_

"_Yes."_

"_That's the baby."_

_You smiled, but then saw another spot. "There is one more." For a second, you hesitated. "Oh my god! They are twins?"_

"_Yes, congratulations!"_

"_Mau, two; double jeopardy!" You kissed me softly, tears in your eyes. "There are two, Maura."_

_I couldn't say anything. Two of you, two little babies. It made me speechless, as simple as that may sound. And you were crying, my strong fighter. You held my hand and kissed my fingers when the assistant finished the treatment. We got pictures. When we drove home, I stopped the car at your parents' house. We hadn't planned that, and you looked at me puzzled. _

"_We are going to tell them right now." I reached over to touch your cheek. "You look so over the moon, and so am I, I want to share this smile with them." _

_You kissed me, held me close and kissed me. When we went to the door, you took my hand. We ate the cake your mother served, secretly smiling. "Ma, Pa", you said when you were done, "we have some news."_

_Your mother's fork froze half way to her mouth. _

"_Well, as you know I always wanted to be a mother, too. We tried in vitro, but it didn't work out for me."_

"_I'm sorry, Jane."_

"… _but it worked for Maura. We will be mommies. And… it will be twins."_

_Your mother jumped up, pulling you and me into a big hug, she cried happy tears, and your Dad was happy as well. My parents, well, didn't really care, but that doesn't matter as our babies will be much loved in your family._

_I started reading books about pregnancy and fed you with the details. You were never the biggest reader, and like this it was more fun anyway. _

_I quickly started showing, well, there were two babies needing space. It felt awesome, knowing that our babies were growing inside me. You started talking to my tummy and softly stroke it every morning. _

_We enjoyed being pregnant. I had to buy new clothes, maternity stuff. One day you came home and had bought finger paint. You made me take off my shirt and lay down on our bed. You giggled, turned some music on and started painting my tummy. It tickled. It turned out you are a talented painter, more or less. _

_You took photos later; before you laid down to wrap your arms around me. And you took a picture of us, together. Your shirt was covered in paint, but you just laughed and kissed me. You started touching me, slowly teasing, softly kissing. I stretched under your touch. We made love, soft and sweet in the afternoon sun. I loved the sunlight on your face, glimmering a bit. _

_It's my favourite, the soft and sweet moments. They are rare because we are so busy, those few moments where we were completely lost in each other. We had sex, a lot to be honest, and we loved it. We couldn't get enough of each other._

_My belly kept growing and growing. At one appointment, the assistant asked us if we wanted to know the babies sex. Sure, we wanted. They laid perfect, two little baby girls. We already knew they weren't identical twins. Now, we got two little girls. _

_When we came home we started discussing names. You had the weirdest ideas and made me laugh until my sides hurt. We agreed to write down names, and started lists. But we quickly agreed on the room. We had those two rooms upstairs. One would be their bedroom, the other the play room later. We painted the walls white, got white furniture. We painted little butterflies and trees, and hung up pictures of us and your family. It was such a pretty nursery. _

_I was eight__ months pregnant. I felt like a ton, but to you I was the most beautiful woman ever. You couldn't stop touching me, and always cared. I don't think anybody ever loved me so much. _

_One night, it started snowing. We sat on the window bench and watched the snow flakes falling. "Do you know what your name means?" I asked. I did some research earlier this morning. You didn't know. "It means God is graceful. Mine means Star of the sea." _

"_There are other names with the same meaning, right? We could pick one of those."_

"_I would like that, that's an awesome idea." I had to giggle and took your hand, placed it on my stomach where baby one was kicking me. You could see the skin moving. The doctor told us the babies were we__ll sized and healthy. You stroked over my tummy, teasing the baby, which replied with little kicks. _

_Later that night we researched the names. We finally agreed to name one baby after the meaning of your name, and the other on mine. One girl will be named Grace, god is graceful, after you, and the other one will be Marlin, our star of the sea, after my name. _

_We had almost everything ready, decorated, shopped, and had time to relax before the birth. Thankfully I'm always well organized, as you, Jane, are more of a whirlwind. _

_But then I woke up in pain one night. Something wasn't right. We rushed to the hospital and a doctor checked on me. One of the babies' heart rate was dropping down. They decided to bring our babies into this world that night. They were early, but once born and checked out, both were okay. I was fine as well, a bit groggy, but so excited to meet them!_

_The twins were taken to our room when I was back, and Jane sat next to me, holding my hand. I got Grace, and you got Marlin. We didn't know what to say, beside those babies – our babies – were the most beautiful creatures we ever saw. All parents would probably say that, and they have to, because to them it is the truth. Biological like, babies often looked like their fathers the first few days they would accept and love them. With Grace and Marlin, it worked for their mothers as very well. _

_We were the happiest mothers in the world. We loved them right away, our little ones. And baby Grace? She had black hair."_

Grace twisted a strain of her hair. She flipped a few pages. "Oh, stories about us… a lot of them. Like… almost every day. You started talking first while I was walking before you could. They always read us stories, taught us a lot that early age. We even played with musical instruments, flutes and drums, and the piano."

"Remember when we started school? We got bikes!"

"Yes, how could I forget? We went on a lot of expeditions with the bikes. You would always bring your explorer stuff, the small glass with the microscope and the boxes where you collected bugs and stones…"

"You never went out without your baseball set, the ball and the bat. And the hat, that baseball cap Ma gave you."

Grace opened the box, and after a moment she held out a photo. "This." The two of them with their bikes.

Marlin smiled. "Oh, this is cute."

"Look, our birthday. Which one was this?"

"I was a fairy. You were a soccer player. We must have been three years old. Are there any Halloween pictures?"

Grace searched the box and found some photos of them dressed up with their moms dressed up as well, laughing into the camera. "You look so much like Mom", she whispered.

Marlin smiled. "So do you. Isn't that funny?"

Grace grabbed some chocolate. They got lost in their memories while browsing through the pictures and talking about their memories of those days. They laughed on the funny faces their moms used to make for them. One photo showed Grace sitting on the grass, her knee covered with blood, Maura sitting next to hear, about to clean the wound. She fell on a stone while running around.

Marlin looked at Graces leg and found the scar there. She let her thumb run over it. "You didn't even cry. But at night you told me it hurts and you were strong so Mom wouldn't get scared."

She took the Journal.

"_One morning I woke up very early, and found the bed next to me warm but empty. I got up and heard you talking. I peaked through the door of the nursery, where you sat with both girls and explained them your job. They were happily bouncing in their swings, wide awake and thrilled about your attention. It was the cutest when you bend over to tickle them and they laughed and giggled. _

_I will never forget this moment. Our sweet little babies, and you, my love. I went to make some coffee, didn't want to interrupt your talk yet. A little bit later, I came in and sat next to you, handing you a cup of coffee. I leaned in to give you a soft kiss. _

"_What was that for?"_

"_Because I love you." _

_For sure, we didn't always agree on our principals for the babies. When I wanted to run every time they screamed you sometimes let them scream. When they fell, I jumped up to get them, but you said they need to learn how to get up on their own from time to time. That life is about getting bruises every once in a while. But that the most important part is that they will always feel loved, that they always had a home to return to, parents they love them no matter what they did. _

_Seeing them growing up was an amazing experience. Two little egg cells became such wonderful babies, toddlers, little ladies. Grace was so much like Jane. Mini- Jane. And Marlin? She was very much like me. We had so much fun, we tried to do as many activities as possible, enjoyed all our free time with them."_


	6. Chapter 6

AN - thanks for all your lovely reviews, they mean a lot. I will publish the last two chapters over the weekend, Id love to hear what you think. This is Chapter 6 of 8.

**Organisation galore**

Grace took the journal.

"_Life with twins and full time working mothers can be hell. You have to get up in time, get the kids ready, eat, dress yourself – try to find something clean to wear because you haven't had time to get the laundry done… Sometimes I had the feeling I would lose my head. _

_We fought about the little things a lot. You weren't always the biggest help. You loved to sit with the twins and play, or go outside and chase them through the garden. But you didn't like to change the sheets of their beds, wash their clothes or put your used dishes into the dishwasher. Sometimes, I feel like I'm having three kids here._

_And then, you do the sweetest thing to make me smile again. And make our daughters look at me with big, puppy eyes, so I can only laugh and kiss them – and you, and forget why I was grumpy. _

_That always worked well for you, love, wrapping me around your little finger with a smile. I remember that one autumn morning, when you and the little beauties decided to make breakfast for me. You made toast, and pancakes, and coffee. I woke up from the noise you made. From above, it sounded like we got visited by a whole bunch of elephants. I tiptoed down – unnecessarily quiet – and found a battlefield where once was our kitchen. _

_You looked at me, flour on your cheek, and all over the twins. They froze when they saw me. "Uhm" you said, "we got attacked by evil flour, but we… won the fight, arrested it and put it in a bowl and started making pancakes for revenge."_

_And I couldn't help but finally giggle. How could I be angry? You are like you are, and I am too much in love. Then, you came over, gave me a longing kiss and hugged me, covering me with the flour as well, making me squee and step back. You laughed, and started chasing me around the counter with your dirty hands reaching out for me, and our kids trying to do the same. We ended up stumbling, rolling over the dirty floors, laughing like maniacs. _

_On your birthday, you only wished for a quiet nice day. We both have had two rough weeks at work before, and all you wanted was to spend the day with us. The twins had saved their pocket money for weeks. Grace had talked Marlin into buying you a new baseball bat with your name on it. They had wrapped it with drawings. We made pizza for dinner, and then was present time. The twins were bouncing in excitement. Carefully you unwrapped your present, and found the bat. "It has your name on it", Grace explained, showing her missing tooth while smiling widely. _

"_That's the best present ever, thank you girls." _

"_Can we try it?"_

"_Yes, we can. We need to; we have to see if it's working well, right? Go change into sports clothes and we will go into the backyard."_

_The seven year__ olds hurried upstairs. You hugged me. "Thanks, Mau, that's a wonderful birthday. I won't play with them very long, I promise."_

_I kissed you. "I__t's fine, Jane. They were excited all week long."_

"She played with us until it got dark, almost beyond our sleep time", Grace remembered. "She kept that bat and used it all the time."

"And hung the drawings at work", Marlin added.

"_You played until it slowly got dark. The girls were tired, we helped them change into their_ _sleep shirts and put them to bed. They were out before we could read them their usual goodnight story._

_You went to take a shower, and I couldn't resist following you. I undressed and got in, and started to massage your back. You purred under my touch while the water was running over our bodies. "Come on", I murmured. "Let's go downstairs." We wrapped each other into towels and hurried the stairs down, barefoot. As soon as we made it to the couch, you pulled me close and kissed me._

_We made love, rough and quick, right there. You bite my shoulder. We held each other close till our breath became normal again. _

"_Do you want your present now?", I whispered, stroking your still wet hair behind your ears. _

_You grinned. "I thought I just got that?"_

_I giggled in reply. You are one wicked woman, Jane Rizzoli. "There is more."_

"_More of this?"_

"_Well, more of this, and another present."_

"_Oh! You have another present?"_

"_Sure. Two, to be exact."_

_I got up; got your present and the cake I'd baked. I don't usually bake. That's your job. But I tried, and the result looked yummy. You were really happy about this. The other present was a new baseball shirt, signed by your favourite team. Not really romantic, but totally something you liked. "Thank you", you whispered, kissing me softly. "Now, more of the first present. Upstairs." Giggling, kissing and touching we hurried upstairs, into our room. We made love, all night long, until we fell asleep in each other's arms. _

_I always loved that part, the nights. We had a huge bed, but usually slept together on one half. We kept touching each other, stroking each other's arms, hair, neck… I love your neck. I let my fingertips run over the soft skin, and always wanted to kiss you there. _

_After the kids started school, I started to schedule things so we could keep track. We messed up a few times in the beginning, even once forgot to pick them up in time cause each of us thought the other would go. You usually made fun of me, but the lists were helpful. We organized around the jobs and school. We spent as much time together as possible, tried to go to Graces baseball games together, as well as to Marlins dance recitals. __It was a race some days, to be there in time, to spend time with them, almost impossible to win. But organisation helped, I think. I hope. If not I just annoyed you without a reason. _

_Things got tricky the bigger the kids grew. They wanted to meet their friends in the afternoons, for sure. When we had to work late nights, we asked your parents to watch them; even __though they always said they don't need a babysitter. That was never a discussion – even though they were good kids, we knew the cruelity of life, and would never risk our kids' lives with anything. _

_When Marlin and Grace were ten, we signed them up for self-defence classes. Friends thought we would be paranoid, but we deal with death on a daily basis, and we saw so many children on our tables, we at least wanted to know our kids would scream for help if somebody was trying to get them or something. We just… wanted them to learn. Even Grace and Marlin knew a lot about our work, we weren't really professional self-defence trainers, so we couldn't teach them ourselves. Our kids are our weakest spot._

_One day, Marlin and Grace came home from school, Grace grumpy, and Marlin crying. We were sitting in the kitchen, sharing an afternoon coffee. "What's wrong?" you asked. _

"_Stop being a baby", Grace snapped when Marlin sniffled._

"_What happened", you asked again while you went over to hug Marlin. _

_The twelve year olds exchanged looks, reminding each other to keep quiet. _

"_Spill it" you said, your voice calm, but more certain._

"_Tell us", I encouraged them._

_Grace threw her hands in the air. "Geez, mothers! They said words again."_

"_What kind of words?"_

"_Like… we are daught__ers of lesbians and that makes us lesbians too."_

_You looked over to me, rolling your eyes. "Oh kids. You know that that's not true."_

"_And there's__ nothing wrong with being a lesbian."_

"_I know", Grace murmured. "I know, but those morons…"_

"_Language__!" She is so much like you – even I could understand her here._

"_Sorry."_

_We made them sit down. They told us, that a group of kids kept torturing them, on and on. That they were mean, said words and kept miscrediting them. They even told them the boys don't like them. It made me sad – it made you angry. _

"_Listen well, both of you", you said. "I do love your Mom, and your Mom loves me. And we have a great life together. Us being lesbian – or however you want to call us, I don't know if_ _lesbian is right if you had boyfriends before – anyway, us loving each other doesn't make you lesbians. It makes you our kids, no matter who we are. It doesn't make you worse or better people. It makes you who you are, and you are amazing." You took their hands. "I am sorry you have a hard time because of us. If you want, I will talk to your teacher or their parents. We can talk to the whole class, but I don't want to offend you in public and make things worse."_

"_It is just… sometimes I don't know what to say", Marlin whispered. "And Grace gets angry."_

"_Well, beauties. Then don't say anything. Walk away. They don't matter. There are so many other children. You can stand up for us if you feel like it – with words, Grace – but you don't have to. We know things can be rough in school. If you want us to, we can look for another school."_

"_How can you know how rough things can get?", Grace snapped, again._

"_Look, Gracie, your Ma and I have been in school once, too." I stroke over her cheek. "I got adopted as a kid. Children made a lot of fun. And for you Ma, you know, her oldest brother had to go to prison more than once. Life isn't always sunny. The world outside can be cruel and terribly cold."_

"_But you have to tell us what is going on, always. We are your safe place, this house is. Here, we can talk about everything. It will always be your home, like we will always be your parents. And we love you, no matter what. No matter which job you choose, or if you will love a boy or a girl. Nothing is wrong with loving a woman, girls. The most important thing about love isn't who you love, but that you love." You looked at me and smiled. "And you know I love your Mom very much, and we love you. You do amazingly well with everything…"_

"…_beside math__", Marlin giggled and made us laugh together." _

Grace sighed. "School sucked sometimes. But they never failed in cheering us up when we came home."

"That's true. They were always there."

"I always felt better when they both smiled at each other. At least our parents loved each other, no matter what. In good and in bad times. Even they could fight like cats, they always made up. I've never been scared they could split up. They loved each other too much."

Marlin grinned. "And later, having gay mothers made us pretty cool."


	7. Chapter 7

**Forever isn't endless**

While Grace chose the next journal, Marlin drank some wine. "You know… I always thought we had a great childhood. It didn't matter they were working both. To me, it didn't matter; I thought they made that up. I loved how active they were. Even you and Ma talked me into a lot of sports, or I was just in the morgue with Mom. They supported almost everything."

"Well, they didn't want me to become a baseball player."

Marlin giggled. "You are good, but you are way better being a cop."

"I know!"

Grace cleared her throat.

"_Dear Jane,_

_It was an early summer morning. The sun was about to rise, birds were singing in the trees. You stroke my hair away to kiss my neck. Your mouth wandered along my shoulder and my arm. Your fingertips found their way to my stomach, where they slipped under my shirt. You spread your fingers, slowly caressing my belly and up to my breast, just a little teasing._

_We made love, slow and sweet, held each other just to start over again. _

_Later – the sun meanwhile got up – we went to get ready for the day. I took a shower, and heard you singing with your toothbrush. It made me laugh, which lead to you climbing under the water with me, and some more touching and teasing. _

_I loved that, soapy, wet skin on skin, hands gliding easily, a whole different sensation. I enjoyed washing your hair, letting my hands rest on your shoulders after that, then running down your spine. Even when we got older, our bodies were still sportive. Well – yours more than mine, but we tried. To me, I loved how you felt that day. Because you looked stunning; and because you looked… mine. _

_That still makes me smile. You are mine. Who could have told years ago? I never expected to have such a fulfilled life. I didn't even believe in love, but you proved me wrong. We raised two wonderful angels… most of the time… and loved the little devils they could be as well. _

_When we were done with the shower, we got dressed. You wore your favourite shirt with the police logo, and a pair of black pants. I decided for a white summer dress. It was my day off, I had to do some grocery shopping and a lot of laundry was waiting. We had planned a barbeque later. _

_You started making pancakes while I went upstairs again, bare feet on the wooden stairs. I went to Graces room first. The bed was empty, but I knew where to find her. The connection door to Marlins room was wide open. In the bed, cuddled under the blanket, I saw red and black hair. I sneaked closer, watched the kids for a moment. No matter how old they were, I hoped, they would always feel comfort with being together like that. They let each other feel secure, and I couldn't be gladder. _

_I woke them with kisses, tickled them when they didn't want to get up. They pulled me down with them, pillow fighting against me until we were out of breath. When we made it_ _downstairs, following the tasty smell of pancakes, our hair was a mess, and our cheeks red from laughing. _

_We sat at our table, and talked about the daily schedule. The kids made announcements which things they desperately needed me to get while shopping. Marlin wanted to spend the afternoon in the animal shelter she used to help out sometimes. Grace had a baseball game, then had planned to meet her sister at the shelter, and later came home back together. _

_When the girls left the house, they hugged us and gave us a kiss, as usual we told them we love them. "Shine, be brilliant and foolish", you said when you kissed them once again._

_I cleaned the table while you finally got ready for work. You hugged me from behind, held me, and then turned me around for a longing kiss. With a smile and a whispered promise you were gone. _

_I worked down my lists, singing along while cleaning. While changing the kid's bed sheets, I found condoms. Graces, I supposed. We would need to talk about that later. _

_It was afternoon, warm with a light breeze. I was preparing the dinner, we wanted to barbeque in the garden. _

_Then, I heard a car and looked outside. It was a police car, but it wasn't you who got out. They were two of your partners. I went to the door, watching them approaching. They stood right in front of the porch when they took down their caps. _

_I had to grab the door frame. "How bad?"_

"_The worst."_

_My knees gave in. I slide down untll I sat on the ground. I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. They let me sit there for a while. Then they helped me up. They offered to go in, but I wanted to sit in the sun. We sat down at the bench._

"_I need to know. Tell me the details."_

_They refused to, but I asked again. I needed to know. _

"_We came back from a coffee break. We had cookies and cake in the café around the corner. Jane was talking about something, when we reached the police station again. It seemed to be busy; a lot of people were standing around. Then we saw the reason. A young man held a gun to the head of a social worker. A small child was sitting in the car, looking at the scene. It seemed the social worker was taking the child to another location and the father wasn't okay with that. We tried to help. While the officers tried to move the crowd away, Jane started talking to the man. She talked about her family, and that he would never see his child again if he would kill that woman. After a while she seemed to reach him with her words. But then he realized all the guns, he didn't see any chance for him to survive. I don't know, but within a second he shot the social worker into her head – blood sprayed everywhere – and wanted to jump to the car and get away. Jane shot his leg, and he stumbled, fell. He… pointed at her, and before she could jump down the bullet hit her. She got shot in the heart."_

_I could only nod. She must have been dead before she hit the ground. The team offered help, asked if they should call anybody. I asked them to organize the funeral. Her brother already knew and was telling the elderly parents. _

_They left after a while, and I sat down on the porch, on our usual spot. The sun warmed my bare legs, I would get a lovely light brown tint. But to me, the birds didn't sing any more. I was aware of the brightness of the day, but everything inside me was frozen. I could barely breath. I couldn't think. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't move. I just kept sitting there."_

Marlin put down the diary for a moment. She found her sister crying, only to learn she was crying the same tears. They pulled in for a long hug, held each other till the tears stopped falling. Grace kissed Marlins cheek.

"_The kids came home. They were talking when they put their bikes away. They greeted me and started talking about their days, sitting down next to me. I slung my arms around them. And told them I love__d them. My heart was breaking, and I wished I could just lie. I wished I could tell them their Ma would have gone to heaven, now shining for us as a star, watching over us. They weren't toddlers any more, but young ladies, teenagers, about to grow up. I remembered the condoms for a second."_

"She called us 'my butterflies'". My. Not ours", Grace whispered. "And Ma was gone."

"It was such a hard time. I don't know how Mom managed to get up, kept us going day after day, in the usual routine. Everybody told us to slow down, but I was thankful for routines."

"Yes, it was something very steady. Do you remember the funeral? The sun was shining bright. A single cloud crossed the sky when Ma was buried; a small breeze crossed the cemetery."

"It was like her last goodbye."

Marlin held her sisters hand when they continued.

"_Life continued. Life never stops. _

_I started working again after the funeral, I had to. I had to focus on something else. I had to keep going, had to do something I wouldn't have to think about. I am great in my job, and it was the easiest thing to be down there, in the quiet of the morgue again. Death didn't ask me questions, didn't give me looks. _

_It just took you away. I don't know how many times I cried on the bodies I've been working with, those secret tears I didn't want to share with anybody. _

_You were gone, my love, and after a while everybody got_ _back to their usual life. Our girls had to deal with your loss. They were okay, more or less, they still had each other. Some nights, they crawled into our bed. They snuggled and held me like you used to do. We cried, but made each other smile again. They gave me so much strength. Without them, I wouldn't know where I would be. _

_We have had so many wonderful years together, but not enough. Never enough, Jane. _

_Later I realized you died the way I feared years ago. On duty, saving lives. But that was just you, the other half of you. I loved them both. Jane, my lover, my partner and family person, and Jane, the cop. It was your passion as well. As I feared you would die on duty – it didn't matter any more after it happened. You were gone. It didn't make a difference if it happened on duty or… of a disease, or age. You were gone, and took a part of me along._

_You left me two wonderful daughters, one so much like you it hurts. It's like seeing a younger version of you sometimes. She is sparkling, shining as we always hoped. And Marlin is the same. As much as they are like us, they are different, their own individuals._

_I kept going for them. And for myself. You would have wanted me to. _

_I missed you every day, every minute. I sometimes dreamed of you, and almost could feel you next to me, and wake up with a smile, only to realize it was just a dream. I missed you when the first snow fell. I missed you when the kids and I went Christmas shopping. I missed you in spring, in summer and in autumn. For a very long time, I didn't feel. There wasn't any joy._

_Life went on, but it felt much calmer to me, without you storming through my world on a daily basis. _

_After a while,__ the kids started laughing again, not so young and innocent any more, but laughing after all. They finished school, started college. They had boyfriends. Life didn't treat me very bad, the world didn't fall apart. I had friends. I wasn't lonely. I had the family. And I had the feeling you would always be with me. _

_But when I sat on the stairs of our porch, loneliness hit me from time to time. And then, our twins brought beer and sat down next to me. Every time they saw me there. It didn't matter if they had dates. Nothing would stop them from being with me, there when I got lost in my thoughts about you. And even after I lost you, we never felt like we really lost you. To us, you are there, in the smile of our daughters, in the stories I tell, in this house, even in every beer we share on these stairs._

_I miss you so much, miss the moments we shared, the things we did. In my mind, we are still doing them. But in the real world, I have to do them alone, or with somebody else. It is okay, it has to be. It's just… nobody can compare with you._

_My Janie. I didn't believe in love other than chemical reactions. You proved me wrong. You captured my heart, stormed in like a whirlwind, and were gone almost the same way. In between we had the most amazing life together, more than I ever imagined I deserved. _

_You would call me stupid, telling me I deserve every star in the universe. And I wouldn't lecture you about the words._

_Sometimes, forever isn't endless. You are gone, but you left your heart with me, letting me feel lonely but loved – forever." _

Marlin sniffled again, and got hugged again. Grace kissed her sister. "You know, Mom is right – Ma is always with us. She was never gone."

They snuggled together for a while, giving each other closeness and safety. Marlin laid her head on her sister's shoulder.

It was dark, stars where shining. Grace looked out there into the wide of the sky. "Do you think there is a life after death?"

"There is no proof for that."

"But, what do you feel? Do you think; that if I may die, we would meet again?"

"I… read a book, about souls. It was a spiritual book. I haven't had anything else, so… but… it said that connected souls will always find each other again. I would always find you."

"Promise."

"Promise!"


	8. Chapter 8

AN. This is it. The final Chapter. I wrote this story with my heart, down in 2 days, between learning, cause I needed to get it off my mind. I was in love with the idea, and, for sure, with Jane and Maura. I admit, Maura a bit more. I am touched this touched a few of you so much, honestly, I couldnt be more proud. I havent written in a long while, and English isnt my first language, so, you couldnt make me more happy. This is it, the end of the line. Time for you to read the end. Enjoy. Comment. 3

* * *

><p><strong>The biggest thing<strong>

Grace took the latest dated journal. "Oh, look, that's after we moved out."

Marlin sighed. "So, that's the last."

"Maybe she had some dirty little secrets…"

"Ah, come on."

"I'm just curious what happened, what she did all that time."

"_Dear Jane,_

_M__y love, Grace moved out. Marlin is living on campus. Our Grace will have a career in the police; I can picture her as a cop very well. And Marlin? She is doing medicine, with living people though. She seems to tend towards working with kids there. They are both doing awesome. They are wonderful._

_For my 50__th__ birthday, I went to Paris with the girls. We loved it. We went to museums, and did a lot of shopping. We climbed the stairs of the Eiffel tower, went on a cruise on the Seine. We sat in small cafes, had French bread and coffee. It was a wonderful time. Sometimes I imagined you with us. You would have liked it. Well, probably not the shopping part, I know… _

_I enjoyed travelling, and the girls took me to San Francisco for my next birthday, and I invited them to go to New York on their next birthday. We went to a baseball game for Grace; and a musical for Marlin. They loved it, though they said they would have loved staying in home as well, and I know they would. I just want to do those things as long as I could. We should have done them earlier. Well, or at least more of those… we did some travelling with them when they were younger._

_My last trip was to Key West. I visited a friend, and stayed with her for a week. It was nice. She took me to an aquarium and a glass bottom boat ride. I enjoyed a little walk on my own the most, sitting at a quiet beach, thinking about our first trip together. _

_How could I ever forget that? We went to the coast, rent a small cabin and had the beach to ourselves. We were young – okay, not that young… and so in love. We didn't made it off the bed the first day, but on the second I dragged you to go jogging with me, and we ended up racing along the beach, stumbling, falling and rolling in the sand, kissing, the sea washing over our legs. I have been so happy those days. I have always been happy with you."_

When Grace flipped to the next page, she found a letter.

Curious, she opened it.

"_My love, Maura."_

"It's from Ma, oh god, Marlin, she had a letter from Ma!"

"Let us read."

"_My love, Maura._

_When you will receive this letter, I will be gone. _

_I am writing this letter, sitting in the nursery with our twins. It's past midnight, a clear, starry summer night. I watched you sleeping, but feared to wake you up. You look stunning in_ _the moonlight. I wanted to touch your beautiful face, Baby. I want to love you._

_But if you get this, I will be gone. And I know you will be missing me. I want you to remember I had a great life, no matter how it ended. I can do the things I do. I have a great relationship with my parents and brother. Then, you came into my life, the crazy dictionary talking medical examiner. _

_There were times you drove me nuts, honestly. Thinking back, we might have been dancing around each other from the beginning. I was surprised when you kissed me. Not that I haven't liked it, it just caught me by surprise. And left me wanting more. God, you can't imagine how that hit me – I, Jane Rizzoli, was falling for my co-worker. The crazy redhead. Seriously? I had a thing for strong, trained guys. And then, you. You are such a fragile, small person. But what do I say? You are stunningly beautiful. _

_My love, I will never forget the first time. Or any after that. I love feeling your skin on mine. And how you crinkle your nose. _

_I want you to be happy. I don't say ran and get a new love, because that's up to you. But you have to be happy, get as much joy as you can. For you, for the kids, and for me. I had the best time with you, and however long it ever lasted, I wouldn't want to miss it. Life can be wonderful, and I want you to remember that. _

_I know you won't forget me, nor the good or the bad times, and thankfully till today, it's been mostly good times. You won't forget the love we share. _

_One day, I wish you will shine again, like you did for me. Shine, and dance, and smile again. _

_Being with you was something I never expected, and it turned out to be the biggest thing in my whole life. And I love you, and will love you all the way. Until the very end. _

_With all my heart,_

_Jane."_

Both sisters sighed. "Mom must have gotten this from Grandma, I guess. It was a beautiful idea", Marlin said.

"Yes, that's true. Now we have something of both, something we can read their grandkids."

Marlin took the journal. "Let us finish this."

"_I have a good life. Not a perfect, __life can't be perfect as humans are not. But being with you always made me a better person. You taught me so many miracles… You loved me how I am, the perfectionist, the realist, the lexicon. But you enlightened my life with the little wonders. With the morning kisses, tasting sweet like the pancakes. The slow, half sleepy love making. The dances in warm summer rain…_

_The kids are not kids anymore; they grew up and still remind me a lot about you. We have our rituals, we tell stories, and I still read to them when they spend the night. They use to come over on a regular basis._

_I work, I love my job. I don't want to retire. I do a lot with friends; we were sailing the other week and will go on a wellness trip. I read a lot. And miss you sitting next to me. But I can smile about that thought. You gave me so much, so much love, so much life that it will last till the end. _

_I just have to close my eyes to recall what we did, how we talked, how we kissed. How you smiled at me, that slow, knowing special smile knowing I am yours. Nobody ever looked at me like that."_

Marlin flipped a few pages.

"_And now, years later, I'm looking back on a wonderful life. There have been crimes, I saw horrible things and may never understand how people can do things like that to other human beings. I lost people along the way, friends, co-workers, and my love. With you, life had changed. After you, love had changed. You are gone for a long time, and the memory of us accompanied me all the way. __Life has held many wonderful things. And most were based on the biggest thing… loving you. Life gave us our kids, the wonderful two young women, the cutest toddlers, the sweetest babies. Life gave us this home, and a family that supported us all the way. Life made us smile, and laugh and dance. Life let us stumble just to get up again, together, and showed us the important things. Not success, but love. No matter whom you love, as long as you love with all your heart._

_Today, __I can feel the time has come, finally. I will miss our beautiful girls, loves of my life. But maybe, death is a bit like both of us thought. The body disintegrates, and will be gone. Maybe the soul will go to the sky, as you always wished. Maybe, maybe we become stars, Jane. I want to believe that so much. I want to be a star, next to you, and light the way for Grace and Marlin, with you. I want to watch over them, forever. And I want to be with you again, I want to be endless, with you, finally."_

Slowly, Marlin closed the book. The last letters have been blurred by tears. "That's where it ended", she whispered.

And both remembered how they found their Mom.

Maura had lived in this house, hers and Jane's, till the end. She must have written the entry at the day of her death. She had led a long, successful life. She had known laughter and pain, happiness and tears, but overall, Maura had sucked up the good parts like a sponge, being able to recall and live from them most of the time. She had found joy in her family life, more than she ever expected.

And on a lovely summer afternoon, with the windows open and a mild wind blowing the curtains, Maura had laid down on the bed she used to share with the love of her life. She must have been looking at the picture of her and Jane, teasing each other, taken in a bar ages ago. She had curled up, and surrounded by memories and all the love this house has ever seen, she had closed her eyes forever, with a smile on her face.

Maybe, just maybe, her soul became a shining star, happily dancing with another star, a bit older, maybe not wiser, but a soul that loved her till the moment where love reunited them again, forever this time.

And with that, Marlin and Grace, still holding each other's hands, looked up into the sky. "We can see you", Grace whispered and made Marlin smile, and somehow, there was a little bit of sadness, a lot of hope, smiles and love, and a forever, at the end of the line.

End.


End file.
